Insinuating Insults

When was the last time you wanted to verbally blast someone but were at a loss of words? If the answer is "last friday", "yesterday" or "now", then there is just the book for you. In fact it has been around for half a century now. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, the ultimate in pot-shots, comebacks, insulting retorts and more; 2000 Insults for All Occasions by Louis A. Safian.

This book also happens to be the oldest book in my personal library. The book was first printed in 1965 by Citadel Press and is as relevant today as it was the day metal press plates were made for the offset printing. I have a 1968 edition of the book.

I don't really recall where I got this book from but it's one of my prized possessions. This book is guaranteed to generate some laughs with its witty insults that are divided into sections like Nudists, Golddiggers, Juvenile Delinquents,  Dumbbells, Husbands etc.

The audacious purpose of this compilation is to give you the opportunity of (at the drop of a hat and gag) shredding someone's self-respect with sharp swings of hard and negative truths. This book is a must for keeping your insult arsenal well stocked for expressing yourselves in situations that demand critical use of your verbal faculties.

Sample this in the "Playgirl" section:

When the little bell on her typewriter rings, she thinks it means a coffee break.

The above might be a little outdated (typewriters, anyone?) but you get the picture, right!

Spiderman's uncle told him that with great power comes great responsibility and I have realized that the great power of "insults" comes with great responsibility. So use this book responsibly and understand that you may need these comebacks sooner that you ever anticipated.

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